Wreck it Ralph Review - In Bullet Point Form!

I liked Wreck-It Ralph, let's talk a little.

1. I thought the opening short was too good. I thought it might diminish the feature. It didn't, but it was an utterly charming little bit of animation.

2. Going to have to buy this on DVD so I can catch all the little jokes and references they threw in.

3. "She has the most tragic backstory of all time." That line killed.

4. They did their homework. Even if the people who worked on this are all about my age and as such are gamers from when I was gaming, they did their home work. There are a lot of gags, references, and an overall understanding of how video games work here. These guys knew what they were doing.

5. Most the jokes were funny, most the characters were interesting, most the story works really well.

6. Some of the characters move like their video game counter parts would move. They have no middle animation they just go from their hands out, to their hands raised, just like 8-bit.

7. The one human gamer we really see was a girl... BUT GIRLS DON'T GAME! my mind=blown!

Now, below there will be spoilers.

Movie Review: Arsenic and Old Lace

Arsenic and Old Lace (1944/Warner Bros./Dir. Frank Capra)

A little while ago, I posted a list of movies that you can watch at Halloween that aren’t horror movies. When I posted that, I “missed” one important movie. I put missed in quotes because I didn’t miss it so much as decide that I would rather do a review on it. While not a perfect movie, nor even a perfect comedy, it is enjoyable and it does work as a film. It's one of m favorite Cary Grant performances, and that is really saying something. And hey, it takes place on Halloween!

Here's the thing though, the best thing to do would be to go into this movie totally blind. I'm going to spoil some things about this movie, but one of the biggest spoilers is on the back of the box. For best results, don't read anything and just go watch it. As of right now, it's on Netflix Streaming (but who knows what tomorrow might bring, right?) so just go watch it. Seriously, don't even bother reading this review because you should just go see it.

5 Non-Horror Halloween Movies

I like Halloween, a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. Syd also loves Halloween. The problem is, Syd doesn't like horror movies. It's a little hard to watch movies during the Halloween season if you live with someone who doesn't like Horror movies. So I decided to put together a list of movies that don't have to be classed as horror. That way, I get to get into Halloween, and Syd gets to sleep without nightmares. So as a result, I've got something that isn't scary. Now, there aren't rules to this, there isn't any science, I went by feel. The only explanation I can come up with, is an after the fact examination. Each of these feel Autumnal to me. They take place during the fall, or have strong themes of the supernatural. That's all I got. I like watching these during Halloween.

NOW! Allow us to, for a moment, start with the honorable mentions. Someone suggested The Nightmare Before Christmas while I was putting this list together. Syd had a complaint, "It's a Christmas movie." and with that, it sort of had to go. It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown was rejected on the grounds that Syd can't watch old Chuck get another bag full of rocks. She just can't take the bullying of Charlie Brown. The Godfather is something I always find myself watching during autumn, but it's not Hallow'een-y enough. Likewise, Ghostbusters was also suggested, but it just felt wrong. Yeah, it felt wrong, I go mostly by feeling on this sight, quit trying to imagine that I use any kind of science behind this. There is no science, no chart, no weighing of evidence. Feeling, gut, emotion. We went through a few others, but in the end I landed with these five.


1. Clue
A classic comedy, that didn't get the kind of love it deserved back in the day. Yes, it's based on a board game, but this movie is SO MUCH MORE! Clue is truly one of the funniest satires of both the mystery genre and the McCarthyism of the 50s. I'm not sure it actually takes place during the autumn, but it feels like it does. Also, most the characters are inside and the whole thing has a lovely warm feeling that I admire. There are few movies that are as much fun as this one. When I reviewed this a while ago, I was ready for it to have not held up, but it did. And it has the most manic dénouement in history with Tim Curry running around explaining the murder like mad. Ya gotta love that!


2. The Crow
Another movie I've reviewed, and still watch. I'm not sure I've mentioned this before, but about 90% of the time I review a movie I have this feeling of "Well, I don't need to watch that again." that washes over me. And maybe 85% of the time I never do watch the movies again. Or at least, I don't feel an urge to watch them. This one, however, I found myself wanting to watch after the review. I went into the viewing, with the idea of watching it for a review, with the idea that I was going to sink myself into a crappy earl 90s nostalgiafest of not holding up years later. Strangely, not only did it hold up, but there were things I found that I appreciated about the movie that had never struck me before. Of course, by issues with depression didn't start until my 30s, so some of the things in that movie wouldn't have struck me until later. Since that review, I've pulled it out every Halloween Season and watched it at least once, if not twice. Yeah, I didn't much talk about the movie here did I? Aw well, click the link up there and read the review.


3. The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Okay, so this is a midnight movie that plays on Halloween. What do you want from me? If you don't know what Rocky Horror is... I honestly can't help you. No, wait, I'll try. It's part sci-fi homage, part lunatic comedy, part polyamory romance, part exaltation of the joy of being yourself, part surreal examination of the sexual awakening of America, it's a musical and Tim Curry is in it. Again. What more could you possibly need? There is a lot more story than what ends up on the screen, so you'll need to watch four or five hundred times to get the full understanding. If you're a fan, you will have done this. Not sure why I've never actually reviewed this one. I've thought about it. I think I probably like it too much. There is a list of movies that I love, that I think I'll probably never actually review. I might, some day, which is why I've never done a "Movies I'll NEVER Review" list, because three days would go by and I'd find myself deciding to give Raiders of the Lost Ark the love it deserves. It's such an unrecognized classic! Seriously you have no idea how close to rhapsodizing it I was after seeing it on the IMAX screen last week. Only exhaustion stopped me. What was I talking about? Oh, right, Rocky Horror. Well, all that I said about Raiders also applies. I like it too much, I would just say things you've heard before.


2. Interview With the Vampire
Again, I'm not sure how Halloweeny this is, but I watch it at this time of year. Again, we've got themes of depression, the supernatural, and (oddly) polyamory. Huh, note to self, collect a list of movies that feature polyamory. This is another movie that I have watched each Halloween since the review. I actually haven't watched the Corman Poe movies that much since I reviewed them, and I think they all got much higher reviews than these two I've admitted to watching a lot more. Interesting that. I'm not sure what it says, but I do watch it. Probably because the movie is ridiculously beautiful, being more of a drama with a bit of supernatural themes than really a supernatural film. Everyone I have asked about this says it's not a horror film, that they've always felt it to be a dramatic period piece first and a vampire movie second. Oddly, I have real problems with the book. I tried to read it once, got the heavily abridged audiobook, and it's kind of terrible. Try cutting what, according to my unabridged audiobook, is a book that takes fifteen hours to read and squish it down to three hours. I'm only reading the whole thing for the first time right now. Interestingly, I don't find Louis as whiney as everyone else. I never found him whiney exactly, just ineffectual. I think he's supposed to be clinically depressed, but written by someone who either hasn't suffered from depression, or can't articulate the feelings very well. The movie is fantastic though, and you should probably watch it again for the first time.


5. Legend
Tom Cruise and Mia Sara fight TIM CURRY? What the shit? How many times is Curry going to turn up in this list? Well, as this is the last entry, it should be the last time. Again, the autumnal feeling is questionable, but I allow it because the only times I've ever felt like watching this movie is in the period between September 1 and November 30. So, I'm going with it. The supernatural is well represented, and there is a force of evil that has to be conquered. There is a lot of darkness, a great deal of glitter, and Tom Cruise in a mini dress. I don't know, it feels right, and it has Tim Curry in it! Has Tim Curry ever steered us wrong? I mean BESIDES McHale's Navy! And Congo... Addams Family Reunion, Oscar, Charlie's Angels, FernGully: The Last Rainforest... You know what? Never mind! Look, when he's good he's VERY good. You may be wondering why I don't mention The Shadow. I actually sort of like that movie. I've been thinking of a review for it. I like to defend the indefensible after all. Also, would have been a good one for this list. Another movie I associate with fall and Halloween.


Wait, I didn't put The Immortals in here? That actually takes place ON Halloween. Of course, it's also not a very good movie. That's probably why I didn't put it here. And yet, I have, so work out that little pair of ducks on your own.

Movie Review: The Adventures of Robin Hood

Movie Review: The Adventures of Robin Hood

The Adventures of Robin Hood/1938/ Dir. Michael Curtiz & William Keighley

Oh yes, the tights, we must always go back to the tights! Easy for a man to look tough wearing 35 pounds of rubber and latex armor, but it takes a real man to look badass in tights. Not just tights, but tights and what amounts to a velvet mini-dress. You could call it a shirt, or a jerkin, but if anyone wore it today, we’d call it a mini-dress. We’d also call it pretty hot if a girl wore something that short. Point is, TIGHTS! You’ve got to talk about the tights first thin out of the gate, because otherwise it becomes the elephant in the room. Beyond that, this is a pretty great movie. Yes, the costumes and manners make the Renaissance Festival look like Game of Thrones. Yes, it’s about as historically accurate as a Walt Disney cartoon. Yes, yes, yes I’ll agree to most the criticism… BUT! This is also the single best movie about Robin Hood, and is still the most iconic. There are only a few Robin Hood movies that are any good, and this is the best.

Movie Review: Windtalkers

Movie Review: Windtalkers

Windtalkers (2002/ MGM/ Dir. John Woo)

What happened to John Woo when he came to America? He had made some of the best action movies of the 80s and early 90s. Then he came to the US and had a string of near disasters and critical failures. That’s not to say his movies did badly. Mission: Impossible II actually did pretty well in theaters, despite what some smart ass critics thought of it. Face/Off was a big hit in the theaters and on video, as was Broken Arrow. None of them are really good movies though, and most have been rejected by Woo fans. Then this movie came along, which sank like a stone at the box office and heralded the beginning of the end for Woo’s American experiment. Allow me to state now, this is not a good movie. It will not be getting a huge score on the Graffiti Bridge Scale. HOWEVER! It won’t get a negative score, and that’s part of what I want to talk about here.

The Amazing Spider-Man review (in bullet point form!)

1. At no time did I ask the question "Why the hell would anyone do that?" when someone did something.

2. I like the evolution of the costume.

3. Andrew Garfield is a good Peter Parker

4. Emma Stone is a good Gwen Stacy.

5. Gwen Stacy only screamed once, and ANYONE would have screamed at that moment.

6. The decision to turn to hero rather than vigilante was hands down the best I've seen in a movie EVER.

7. Lizard was... eh. I liked him, he was okay, but he was just sort of... there.

8. I LIKED THE CRANE THING! Okay? I liked it, I thought it was cool. I know lots of people hated it, but I thought it worked.

9. Parker was a real nerd, and he did real nerd stuff.

10. I don't think I can watch the Sam Raimi Spider-Man again. At least, not anytime soon. It hasn't aged well and now it'll look down right campy.

11. Give Sally Field an Oscar. Give her all the Oscars. Give her the one for best lighting and shit. Seriously.

12. Syd said "Oh, so the Denis Leary looking guy was Denis Leary" during the credits. No shit.



So, I really, really liked The Amzing Spider-Man, and I would have liked to see ASM2, but I saw the trailer for The Wizard of Oz prequel, and now I hate all movies. I'm giving up on my hobby, I can't take the pain.

In fact, I hate everything, because it's all connected to that piece of shit.

And people were showing up for Batman as we were leaving. It doesn't start until 12, but they were there at 9:30 waiting.

I sort of wish I hadn't hated Batman Begins quite so much. I mean, it was one of the worst movies I had ever seen up to that point, but someone forgave its faults enough to make two more movies and I've been told people liked The Dark Knight. The problem is, I've absolutely hated everything Christopher Nolan has ever done. After The Prestige I blacklisted him and haven't watched anything since. I don't want waste time seeing something I'm 98% sure will have me shouting at the screen. And I’ve seen some of the scenes with The Joker, and predicted his movements* and spoke his lines** before he did in every single one. It never gripped me enough to give a shit.

*I knew what his magic pencil trick would be
**"You remind me of my father." "You hated your father." "I hated my father." "Fuck off."

Movie Review: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998/Universal Pictures/Dir. Terry Gilliam)

There are books that are difficult to translate into movies, and there are books that are more easily translated. I’m not exactly sure where Fear and Loathing fits in there, but it was at least fairly accurately translated. Not 100%, several things prevent it from reaching the full and complete accuracy that fans were hoping for. While some of them are choices made by Gilliam, many of them are just rights and budget concerns. However, as an adaptation of the book, it works. As something to get you interested in the greater works of Hunter S. Thompson, it is an excellent device. How does the movie hold up compared to the book? Let’s find out together, shall we?