Cartoon Review: Lost and Found

Lost and Found

Lost and Found (2008/ Dir. Philip Hunt/ Entertainment One and Studio Aka)
Here is the short version of this review: Go buy this, it’s excellent.

Movie Review: Goyokin

Goyokin 1969/ Toho/ Dir. Hideo Gosha

For reasons of my own, I was watching some heist movies. I like a good heist flick, and there aren't enough of them. There are lots of heist flicks, but only a few good ones. I had gone through the usual line-up of movies, and after I had exhausted my supply I still felt the need to go once more into the heist film vault. So what I did was examine what you need for a good heist movie. That led me to this Japanese samurai movie set in the 1800s. As opposed to a French samurai movie set in the 1460s I guess? Well, some samurai movies are set during the 1600s, that seems to be the two times we generally get. During the early days of the Tokugawa shogunate or just before the Meiji Restoration, which is the end of the Tokugawa shogunate. Soooo, during the Tokugawa shogunate. You know what? Forget this part! I've already said shogunate way too many times.

Why do I call this a heist movie and not a samurai movie?

Movie Review: The Adventures of Robin Hood

Movie Review: The Adventures of Robin Hood

The Adventures of Robin Hood/1938/ Dir. Michael Curtiz & William Keighley

Oh yes, the tights, we must always go back to the tights! Easy for a man to look tough wearing 35 pounds of rubber and latex armor, but it takes a real man to look badass in tights. Not just tights, but tights and what amounts to a velvet mini-dress. You could call it a shirt, or a jerkin, but if anyone wore it today, we’d call it a mini-dress. We’d also call it pretty hot if a girl wore something that short. Point is, TIGHTS! You’ve got to talk about the tights first thin out of the gate, because otherwise it becomes the elephant in the room. Beyond that, this is a pretty great movie. Yes, the costumes and manners make the Renaissance Festival look like Game of Thrones. Yes, it’s about as historically accurate as a Walt Disney cartoon. Yes, yes, yes I’ll agree to most the criticism… BUT! This is also the single best movie about Robin Hood, and is still the most iconic. There are only a few Robin Hood movies that are any good, and this is the best.

Movie Review: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984/ Lucasfilm/ Dir. Steven Spielberg)

Oh yeah, the first Indy movie I’m going to review and it’s one of the most infamous sequels ever made. Let’s get a statement out of the way straight off, this is a flawed movie. It’s the weakest of the trilogy, and yes I know Crystal Skull exists. We’ll talk about that one some day. It doesn’t work like the others, it doesn’t seem to fit with the others, and there are parts that make even a strong man wince. There is also a woman who spends more time screaming than talking, which I’ll get to. However, there is a lot to defend, or at least understand here, so I won’t just smack it around with a leather strap and call it a day. Besides, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is the Kill Bill of 1984 and most people don't even know it. Yes, I will explain that statement. Good movies deserve better than that, and while this might not be a great movie, it is a good one, no matter what those wankers on the internet might say.

Movie Review: The Great Train Robbery

The Great Train Robbery (1903/Edison Studios/Dir. Edwin S. Porter)

Made in 1903, this is possibly the earliest western movie, although even the director of this movie would disagree with that statement. Not important, but he thought another movie was the first western, however I don’t think it was a proper narrative film like this is. See, before this time, most movies were just an event. Not even a series of events but a single scene with the camera simple pointed at whatever was happening. The earliest movies are quite frankly, dull. Unless you’re a movie nerd, or a history nerd, most of the “first” movies in history hold little to no interest because they were primarily just pointing a camera at a city street and capturing what was there. This was back in the day when simply seeing a picture move was enough to get riled up over. Now it’s true that there were movies with plot and editing and before this, but The Great Train Robbery was the first one to really bring everything together in a way that made it a big hit. One might say that this one proved there was something to this whole movie making thing. If you’re able, go out and buy Edison - The Invention of the Movies, which is where my copy of the movie comes from. If you get other versions, you may not get some of the brilliant use of colors that this one has.

Movie Review: Jurassic Park

Jurassic Park (1993/Universal/Dir. Steven Spielberg)

I decided to re-read the book before watching the movie, which might be considered a mistake by some people. I know people who would have said I should have skipped one or the other of my experiences, but I had my reasons. I wanted to be able to compare the two products, movie and book and see what the differences were. My thoughts can be condensed, and then expanded upon. Jurassic Park: The Book is kind of a dumb diatribe against science, written by a profoundly stupid man. Jurassic Park: The Movie is a fun movie with a few weak spots. I’ll expand on those two statements, but that’s the gist of my feelings.

Movie review: Seven Swords

Seven Swords (2005 Mandarin Films & Eng Wah Dir. Tsui Hark)

This is a movie that should have been awesome, but fell short of that lofty goal. The reasons it should have been awesome are easy to see just from the people involved. Tsui Hark reinvigorated the Wuxia genre in the 90s, Donnie Yen is one of the biggest stars in HK cinema, the other actors are hardly unknowns, and it’s based on one of those books that I’m told is a favorite in Chinese culture. Of course, that’s maybe where things start to go wrong. The movie bears little resemblance to the book in question. Much of the story telling is put on the shoulders of characters that weren’t written to hold such weight, and the action is underwhelming. However, all that said, there are things to like in this movie as we’ll see. This isn’t a movie without merit, and some might look beyond the weaknesses and really fall in love with this thing.

Movie Review: Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye

Well! It’s that time again! September has begun and with it, my two month run up to Halloween. I like Halloween, and I like the Halloween run up. I also like this time of year because I don’t really have to think about my schedule for the next four months. Halloween movies in September and October, movie suggestions in November, and then the VEWPRF stuff in December. The only real question is do I do reviews with a theme or just toss out a bunch of appropriate movies? Well, this year, we’re going with a theme. I’ve decided to review one of my favorite genres, the Anthology Movie. I have no idea why, but there seems to be more horror anthology out there than other kinds. Maybe I’ve got a selective eye on this and just forget all the things that aren’t horror, but it feels like there are more horror anthologies out there. Either way, we’re going to spend from now until November checking them out! So let’s start with…

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Cat’s Eye (1985 DEG Dir. Lewis Teague)

Around the time Stephen King was getting ready to make Maximum Overdrive, The De Laurentiis Entertainment Group was making another King movie. This one was, as far as I can tell, the second of three movies that De Laurentiis and King would make together. The first being Firestarter and the last being Maximum Overdrive. Like Firestarter, this also has Drew Barrymore in it and like the other two films it was shot in and around Wilmington, North Carolina. It’s also directed by the man who directed Cujo, so there is a strong contingent of King Veterans in this movie. It contains two stories from Nightshift and a story that, again as far as I can tell, was just written for the screenplay for this movie.

Movie Review: Azumi

Azumi (2003 Dir. Ryûhei Kitamura)

This one is by special request. Actually, Syd suggested it more than requested it, but it sounded better to say it was a request. You might want to make yourself a Samurai Girl before we start though, as a cocktail sometimes helps the movie gown down a little more easily. This is a movie based on a manga, which I’ve never read and thus have no idea if it matches the source material or not. I’m not finding a lot of information, so we’ll go the route of ignoring the comic book for the moment. I only bring it up because this is clearly a manga-ish movie. It’s also a sort of uneven movie in several respects. I’m going to say it at the start, so I won’t feel compelled to say it every time it comes up. Aya Ueto can act, but she’s not the best actor you’ve ever seen. What she can’t do is sword fight. It’s clear she was picked because she was cute and she was clearly a rising star at the time. She’s not exactly bad in this, but it’s pretty clear the character of Azumi is supposed to be a badass with the sword and it doesn’t come off properly here. Anyway, shall we begin? I should state here and now that my copy comes from England that I bought it about a year or two before there was a Region 1 disc and has it burned in subtitles. If you see subs in the screen caps, that’s just because of my troubles getting the shot I wanted. If you buy anything but the Optimum Asia disc from the UK, you probably won’t have burned in subs. If you need a drink with your film, try a Samurai Girl, which is actually pretty delicious.

Movie Review: The Spirit

Title page!

The Spirit (2008 Lionsgate Dir. Frank Miller)

Get out your manliest whiskey for this one kids. Not because you like it, but because that's what a Real Man® is supposed to drink. Yes, once again, my love for the silly and the stupid comes through. Here’s a controversial statement for you, The Spirit is actually pretty good. Okay, yes, the movie is bad. BUT! It’s a good kind of bad. It’s a “Saturday night with friends and a bottle” bad. In fact, it’s a lot of fun if you watch it with the right mindset. Yes, that mindset is that this is going to be a fun, campy, adolescent thrill ride, but I will point out it is based on a comic book.

Movie Review: Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes (2009 Warner Bros. Dir. Guy Ritchie)

Let’s have first things first and give the standard disclaimer. I’m not a big fan of Sherlock Holmes and Guy Ritchie only has about 50% success with me. I don’t like the leaps of logic Holmes makes, there are a myriad of explanations for most of the evidence he hangs things on and he could often be wrong. The fact that he is never even slightly mistaken always annoyed me when I read the stories. However, that’s got nothing to do with this movie, which I actually liked quite a bit.

Movie Review: Dick Tracy

Dick Tracy (1990 Touchstone Pictures Dir. Warren Beatty)

Movie Review: The Phantom

The Phantom (1996 Paramount Dir. Simon Wincer)